


The Sound of Silence

by fayrose



Category: Dracula (TV 2013)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-04 00:18:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fayrose/pseuds/fayrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lucy falls ill with what is thought to be the deadly Asiatic flu, Mina is the only one brave enough to tend to her. With Lucy slipping away, Mina has to face the prospect of a world without Lucy in it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When Mina heard, she felt as though someone had shot an arrow through her heart. It was the stuff of newspaper reports and lectures. That sort of thing made you feel so removed from reality of it that the death toll – 1 million souls – had seemed unreal, just a number.

There had been no reported cases for over two years before a flurry of London’s elite had failed to raise from their beds, with one common diagnosis given to them all – flu, suspected Asiatic.

It was Dr Van Helsing who told her.

“Miss Murray,” he said, his hand steadying at her elbow. “Mina.”

She did not respond. All she could think of was Lucy lying there, damp with sweat, skin pallid and eyes sunken in her head. She would be alone. No one would dare to tend to her.

“Mina, you know that you mustn’t visit her. Not unless we can rule it out. The risk is too grave.”

“Of course,” Mina said, eyes distant as she nodded. “You are right of course.”

Van Helsing sighed and walked away. He knew that she would call for a carriage and did not want to have to tell Dr Murray that he had been there and failed to stop her. But stop her he could not, not when he recognised that look in her eyes all too well.

——

“Where is she?” Mina demanded the moment that the butler – stout man named Johnson – opened the door.

His face was ashen and he looked as though he had not slept. Mina remembered Lucy once telling her how she and the butler would play when she was a child with the toys that ought to have been her brothers’. When Lucy had described it, Mina had been able to see it so clear – Lucy crawling around the floor in a little blue dress, blonde curls falling around her face as she followed a miniature copper steam train around a circular track, Johnson crawling after her.

When Mina saw her now, those beautiful blonde curls had taken on a lacklustre look and were scarcely blonde at all where they were stuck to her damp, grey skin. Her eyes were closed behind dark eyelids and her lips were pale. Everything about Lucy that was always flushed pink, shining yellow and glimmering blue was suddenly colourless, like a painting faded by the cruel sun.

Mina bit her lip to stop herself crying. Even then her eyes blurred and she had to blink quickly to resolve the world again. Except when it did, it brought Lucy, ill as she was, back into sharp focus, and that only made Mina cry again.

“Oh Lucy,” she whispered, almost too scared to touch her lest she find her cold, despite her obvious fever. “Dearest, darling Lucy.”

Taking a deep breath, she pushed down the trembling in her belly and tried to remember what she had been taught. Lucy had a fever. She needed fluids and her forehead should be kept cool for the sake of comfort. She spotted a jug of water at Lucy’s bedside, with two cloths and a glass beside it. The jug was still full.

Sighing, Mina made her way towards the bed. Lucy was lying in the centre of it with pillows surrounding her on three sides to stop her from falling. They had obviously planned to leave her unattended. Such precautions, which would only make her warmer, were unneeded now that Mina was there to look after her. That was something that Mina could fix, as small and insignificant as it was.

“Lucy,” Mina said, her voice soft so as not hurt Lucy’s ears as she tried to rouse her. When she got no answer, removed the pillow from Lucy’s right side and discarded it, along with her shoes, onto the floor. “Darling, its Mina. I’m here to luck after you.”

For the first time, Lucy showed signs of life. Her eyelids, looking as heavy as if they were fashioned from lead, drew half back and her cracked lips parted.

“You mustn’t be here.” Lucy’s weak voice came with a rattle that chilled Mina to the bone. “Doctor said it was con _something_.”

Mina half smiled and took off her gloves to wipe the hair from Lucy’s forehead. “Contagious.”

“That one,” Lucy agreed. “Go, please.”

Mina couldn’t help but be warmed by Lucy’s concern, her strength. “Feel free to try to make me.”

Lucy’s eyes closed, defeated.

“Would you like some water?” Mina asked, settling on the bed beside her.

Lucy shook her head. “Johnson tried. Too hard.”

Mina saw the glass was but instead reached for one of the cloths. They were fresh muslins from the kitchen. She dipped one end into the jug of water and brought it to Lucy’s lips.

“Open up,” she commanded and Lucy, eyes still closed, obeyed.

She squeezed a trickle of water into Lucy’s mouth before pressing the cloth to her lips to moisten them.

Lucy smiled weakly. “My clever angel.”

Butterflies stirred in Mina’s stomach. She repeated the process until she was sure that Lucy had taken enough water for now, then wet the other cloth and used it to cool Lucy’s brow.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, dreading the answer.

“All the better for you and your attentions, my love,” Lucy whispered, attempting a smile. “Now leave me be. I would rather lie her hopeless and alone than have you catch my illness and fall ill too.”

Doing quite the opposite, Mina slipped under the blankets and lay down at Lucy’s side – sharing her pillow and putting her arms around Lucy to hold her close. It was reassuring to be able to feel Lucy’s heartbeat. “Not a chance.”

She lifted her head to press a kiss to Lucy’s forehead and one to each cheek before pausing, icy heat prickling through her. Dipping her head one last time, she kissed Lucy’s lips softly and briefly, her forehead resting against Lucy’s. That felt good too, far better than it should.

 “I’m scared,” Lucy confessed.  She had had twin brothers once, only two years older than her. Both had been taken by scarlet fever when Lucy was just a baby. She had lived almost her whole life in their shadows, never able to live up to the expectations of who and what her brothers would have been.  “What if…”

“You’ll be just fine,” Mina promised, her lie evident in the quavering in her voice. She had lost her mother to the first outbreak of Asiatic flu in 1889. They had been in St Petersburg at the time for her father to give a lecture at their royal society. Only two of them had come home. “You are so very precious to me, Lucy. I know that you don’t tell you enough, but you are.”

Lucy smiled again, and this time it seemed a little stronger – or at least Mina fancied that it was.

“And I love you more than anything or anyone in this world,” Lucy whispered, turning into the hand caressing her cheek. “My heart, no matter how hopelessly, belongs to you. You should know that in case I… You should know.”

Tears fell from Mina’s eyes to Lucy’s parched lips. Lucy’s eyes were closing again and Mina felt her whole world slipping away from her.

“And you have mine, darling Lucy,” Mina admitted, her whole body shaking with fear. “You always have.”

Consciousness had once again slipped from Lucy’s grasp and all that met Mina’s confession was painful, lonely silence.


	2. Chapter 2

For days, Mina’s every waking moment was consumed with tending to Lucy’s needs, as few as they were. Daylight seemed to bring Lucy peace. She slept almost constantly, whilst Mina sat fretfully by her bedside, watching Lucy’s chest rise and fall, fearing every breath might be her last. Those lonely hours saw Mina reflecting on what Lucy had said and how she had replied. It had been instinctual to say it back. Of course Lucy had her heart. That was a given. Everyone knew. They were  _Lucy and Mina_. The very best of friends.  _Friends_. But the way you feel about a friend should not eclipse what you feel for a fiancé. She remembered when Johnathan had had been mugged at the station. She had thought the fear that she felt, not knowing how badly he was hurt, and then she thought of the terror she still felt at the prospect of a world without Lucy in it – or worse, a world where Lucy remained like she was now. The fear she had for Lucy was far the greater.

But that wasn’t right. It was Johnathan she loved, wasn’t it?

When at last darkness fell and Mina’s eyes began to close, Lucy’s sleep was broken with racking coughs and pains that seemed as anguishing as the plunging of a knife. All of that conspired to keep Mina awake and as time passed she grew weaker and weaker in everything but her attentiveness to Lucy.

“What day is it?” Lucy’s eyes were closed and her voice so soft that Mina would not have heard it had she not been pressed so closely to Lucy’s side.

“I have no idea,” Mina murmured. She thought for a moment, struggling to work logic with her weakened mind. “I think Thursday? I can’t remember.”

Thursday. That meant that she was missing an exam. She didn’t have it in her to care.

“Go, please.”

“Not for all the gold in Ireland,” Mina chuckled, tiredness making her all but delirious. She did not have a fever, but she wouldn’t, not yet.

Lucy’s sleepy laughs slipped into the even breaths of the sleeping and Mina, for once, joined her.

Sometime later Johnathan came.

“You must come home, Mina!” he called through the door. Mina could not decide whether he was concerned or irate. It didn’t really matter, she wasn’t leaving, but it would be nice to know.

“Really, this nonsense cannot go on!” he continued, his voice rising.

“Have you found Lucy a doctor?” Mina asked, forehead resting against the door to steady herself. She had thought that her father might come, but he had not. Not even for Lucy.

After a moment of silence, Johnathan offered, “I have found a priest who-”

Mina felt anger the like of which she had never felt flashing through her.

“Why would she need a priest?” she asked bitterly. What did he know? He was only a… She didn’t even know what he was anymore, but he certainly wasn’t qualified to decide when it was time to call for a priest. “Why?”

“You’re being foolish.”

“Again? If you’re to be believed I seem to be making a habit of it.”

There was a thud and tremors wracked the door. Johnathan sucked in his breath. He was not a man of violence and hitting the door had caused him more pain than it had given him catharsis.

“Feel better?” Mina asked.

“You cannot let how you feel for Lucy blind you!”

Tears stung Mina’s eyes. “I won’t leave her. I  _can’t_. Not her, Johnathan. I won’t let it take her.”

“And if it takes you instead? What then, Mina?” Johnathan shouted. “What am I and your father to do then?”

Mina turned away, leaning her back against the door. What in their lives would really change? They had their work and their independence. “Do what you have always done.”

“A life without you would have no meaning,” Johnathan admitted. “Please, Mina. Don’t do this.”

“Don’t you see?” Mina whispered. “That that is how I feel about her. I can’t leave because the thought of a world without her is enough to break me.”

His retreating footsteps were his only answer.

When morning finally came the next day and sunlight lit Lucy’s face, Mina was struck by how beautiful she was. Pinkness was finally coming back to Lucy’s cheeks and she looked to Mina like a sleeping angel, as beautiful as divinity itself. The sight set Mina’s stomach fluttering and her heart swelled in her chest. Her whole body tingled and she could not deny that this – finally – was love. Real, irrepressible love. And without knowing it, she had felt it all along.

“Ah, the angel awakes,” Mina greeted dreamily as Lucy stretched and slowly awoke. Her seafoam eyes flickered open and her rosebud lips held a contented smile.

“How do you feel?”

“Quite wonderful,” Lucy whispered, her throat too sore and dry. “I thought I had dreamt you.”

 “Alas, no,” Mina jested, but her heartbeat was quickening. Her dream from the night before, one that had featured a much recovered Lucy quite prominently, came back to her.

“What’s the matter?” Lucy asked, suddenly alarmed. “You are not unwell? I could not stand it if you-”

“No, no,” Mina assured her, rolling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. “Not unwell.”

“Then what?” Lucy asked, fear stirring in her stomach. She could not remember Mina coming to her. She had been delirious. What if she had said something that…

“Do you remember what you said to me the other day?”

Lucy’s heart froze. “I… I remember nothing.”

“You said something that… Well it has had me thinking these last long days. Thinking about you and me,” she paused, “and Johnathan.”

Lucy’s heart fell. “Oh?”

“I… I don’t believe that I can marry him. I thought I loved him but I don’t, not as I ought. Not the way he loves me.” Mina gazed up at the ceiling, her eyes unfocused. “I couldn’t. My heart is wholly dominated by love for another,” she turned her face to Lucy and smiled. “For you, Lucy.”

Lucy’s lips parted, but for once in her life she was speechless.

“How stupid I am, having loved you for so long and not having realised it. My only excuse can be that my heart has always been yours and so knows no different.”

“Mina, what are you saying?”

For once, Mina acted without hesitation. When she leant closer, she felt Lucy’s breath catch, the warmth of it on her cheek suddenly absent. Closer again and she could feel Lucy trembling. An inch more and Mina realised with a startling clarity that this was how it was supposed to feel. Her heart skipped at the very first touch and though she was breathless, she would not have let her lips leave Lucy’s to breathe even if her life had depended on it. Kissing Lucy was altogether more wonderful than anything that Mina could ever have imagined. She learnt the beauty of running her fingers over the softness of Lucy’s cheek and into her silken hair, tightening them there and feeling Lucy gasp for her. She was intoxicated, the tingling in her belly growing and radiating, spreading through her like a fire that did not consume but breathe life instead.

Mina pressed forward, seeking and finding in Lucy everything that had as yet eluded her. A rush of love made her heart swell and her mind swam with the ecstasy of having Lucy part her lips and moan for her, soft and yielding in a way that was utterly addictive. There was a certain power to it that flowed through Mina’s veins. Nothing had ever made her feel as alive as kissing Lucy and having her respond, sweet and tentative, as if still afraid that Mina would change her mind. But now that she had felt this, Mina knew that that could never be.

“Please,” Lucy begged her, keening to hear it still.

“I love you,” Mina breathed, as she had said a million times before but never like this. Still Lucy seemed unsure and so Mina said, “I  _want_  you.” And at that the bonds that had seemed to bind Lucy broke away, freeing her.

In her eagerness, Lucy surged forwards, pressing her body to Mina’s and shivering at the pleasure of it. Nothing had felt so good, Mina was sure, than the feeling of Lucy pressed against her – all slightness and yielding curves, everything that Johnathan was not. Without a moment’s thought for propriety or the proper speed of things, Mina’s hands left Lucy’s hair and clasped her closer. Her fingers traced Lucy’s hip up to the valley of her waist to swell of her breast. It was then she really heard how Lucy – strong, forceful Lucy – could whimper.

But there, in the bed Lucy had lain stricken in, was not the place. Mina’s head was spinning and she knew that if she did not stop this now, she might faint. She pulled back, panting, and tried to ignore the coil of desire that urged her not to stop.

“I think,” she panted, “I think I need a cold bath. I feel like I’m on fire, Lucy, and you are the one who has set me alight. God, I have never felt like this.”

Utterly weakened by so much so soon, Lucy could only gasp against Mina’s neck and pray that the room would stop spinning. She must be dreaming. She was sure that she must have been dreaming, but the feel of Mina’s arms pulling her closer felt more real than anything had ever felt before.

“Promise me,” Lucy begged.

“Anything,” Mina vowed, seeking out Lucy’s lips again and kissing her, brief and forceful, like an addict desperate for a fix. “Anything but to pretend this never happened. That I can never promise.”

“Promise me that once we have left this room that you will not change your mind.”

“Oh, my dear sweet love. My mind has no say on it. It’s my heart, body and soul that holds sway when it comes to you, and they are all yours – no matter what the cost.”

And as they lay there, surrounded by the weight of silence, Mina knew that her fight for Lucy had only just begun.


End file.
